So this article was written by Glamour contributing writer Pamela Redmond Satran (not Hillary or Maya Angelou or....)
By 30, you should have:
1. One old boyfriend you can imagine going back to and one who reminds you of how far you’ve come. check
2. A decent piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in your family. I less than three my desk and desk chair.
3. Something perfect to wear if the employer or man of your dreams wants to see you in an hour. employer yes; man, maybe
4. A purse, a suitcase and an umbrella you’re not ashamed to be seen carrying. check
5. A youth you’re content to move beyond. check
6. A past juicy enough that you’re looking forward to retelling it in your old age. still working on this one. But I do have some juicy stories.
7. The realization that you are actually going to have an old age—and some money set aside to help fund it. I'm not sure I agree with this one. Life is not promised [RIPBPT]. I do have a (small) retirement fund.
8. An e-mail address, a voice mailbox and a bank account—all of which nobody has access to but you. We struggled with getting access to things when Bry died so my family knows how to access these but doesn't access without my permission.
9. A résumé that is not even the slightest bit padded.check!
10. One friend who always makes you laugh and one who lets you cry. One and the same, thank you Toons!
11. A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill and a black lace bra. I have some of this but I'm not any saying more than that
12. Something ridiculously expensive that you bought for yourself, just because you deserve it. Yup.
13. The belief that you deserve it. CHECK
14. A skin-care regimen, an exercise routine and a plan for dealing with those few other facets of life that don’t get better after 30. I think so.
15. A solid start on a satisfying career, a satisfying relationship and all those other facets of life that do get better. check
By 30, you should know:
1. How to fall in love without losing yourself. I don't think its possible to not lose a little of yourself. I lost a little bit of my heart when I lost my brother. I think its ok to lose a little bit of yourself when you love someone.
2. How you feel about having kids. Duh!
3. How to quit a job, break up with a man and confront a friend without ruining the friendship.check, although they are not things I enjoy doing
4. When to try harder and when to walk away.Is it possible to know this every time you are put in the situation?
5. How to kiss in a way that communicates perfectly what you would and wouldn’t like to happen next. I'd like to think so.
6. The names of: the secretary of state, your great-grandmother and the best tailor in town.2 out of 3 isn't bad
7. How to live alone, even if you don’t like to. LOVE it!
8. How to take control of your own birthday. I think so
9. That you can’t change the length of your calves, the width of your hips or the nature of your parents.check. sidenote: I wouldn't want to change my parents :)
10. That your childhood may not have been perfect, but it’s over. Sad but true. My childhood was actually pretty perfect.
11. What you would and wouldn’t do for money or love. check
12. That nobody gets away with smoking, drinking, doing drugs or not flossing for very long. Bryan was proof of this.
13. Who you can trust, who you can’t and why you shouldn’t take it personally.I'd like to think so
14. Not to apologize for something that isn’t your fault. Still learning this one
15. Why they say life begins at 30. I'm hoping the best is yet to come!
Read More http://www.glamour.com/magazine/2007/02/things-women-should-have-and-know-by-30#ixzz1Gd16XSdZ
Monday, March 14, 2011
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Stuff You Should Know
So in addition to the TED Talks podcast I subscribe to, I also listen to the Stuff You Should Know podcast from HowStuffWorks.com.
Between the 2, I'm getting smarter:
1. Gorillas and mice are ticklish. Mice will actually role over and start giggling in anticipation when you wiggle your fingers near them (kind of like how little kids react when they know you're about to start tickling them). But you can't be tickled if you're not in a good mood. There's a surprise element that goes along with this to some extent too. Hence why you can't tickle yourself, its not a surprise.
2. The black death actually started in China. It then spread to Europe. It was originally called the "Big" death bc so many people were dying, but was mistranslated to black. That stuck so its now called the black death. Interestingly enough, bc so many people were sick and dying, the land was being used less so forests grew during the black death epidemic. So basically, to save the planet, we just need to kill off a lot of ppl (Haha!).
3. Your natural sleep cycle would have you sleep from 8 pm - midnight and then again from 2 am - sunrise. That's about 8 full hours. I understand my sister better now.
4. Head aches and migraines are actually complete opposites. When you have a headache, its because the blood vessels are constricting. Migraines arre caused by blood vessels expanding.
More fun facts later.
Today I found out that a friend from undergrad was killed in a car accident. RIP Morgan... We will miss you buddy!
Between the 2, I'm getting smarter:
1. Gorillas and mice are ticklish. Mice will actually role over and start giggling in anticipation when you wiggle your fingers near them (kind of like how little kids react when they know you're about to start tickling them). But you can't be tickled if you're not in a good mood. There's a surprise element that goes along with this to some extent too. Hence why you can't tickle yourself, its not a surprise.
2. The black death actually started in China. It then spread to Europe. It was originally called the "Big" death bc so many people were dying, but was mistranslated to black. That stuck so its now called the black death. Interestingly enough, bc so many people were sick and dying, the land was being used less so forests grew during the black death epidemic. So basically, to save the planet, we just need to kill off a lot of ppl (Haha!).
3. Your natural sleep cycle would have you sleep from 8 pm - midnight and then again from 2 am - sunrise. That's about 8 full hours. I understand my sister better now.
4. Head aches and migraines are actually complete opposites. When you have a headache, its because the blood vessels are constricting. Migraines arre caused by blood vessels expanding.
More fun facts later.
Today I found out that a friend from undergrad was killed in a car accident. RIP Morgan... We will miss you buddy!
Friday, March 11, 2011
TED Talks
I've subscribed to the TED Talks podcast and learned a TON of cool things lately:
1. Cancer isn't a thing it is a process happening in a body. We should be saying the body is "cancering" instead of saying someone has cancer. We're also more likely to find a cure for cancer if we stop researching from the human genome perspective and start researching from the protemics perspective (looking at the processes in the body).
2. In light of all the damage we've done to our planet, we should be working on creating closed loop systems: everything in the system should be used (i.e. NO waste at all) for another purpose.
3. Nature has some pretty cool building blocks that we can copy in our architecture to make buildings more sustainable, less expensive, and more eco-friendly.
4. The three A's of Awesome (the blog about 1001 awesome things): Attitude, authenticity, and awareness. It's ok to grieve when you hit bumps along the road, but then pick yourself up again. Choose your attitude, choose to move on so you can go back to the highs of life. Be authentic. You'll have more fun! Awareness is about taking everything in and learning as much as you can... just like a 3 year old.
5. Madeline Albright's pin collection started because she was poking fun at Saddam Hussein. This woman has guts and a sense of humor!
1. Cancer isn't a thing it is a process happening in a body. We should be saying the body is "cancering" instead of saying someone has cancer. We're also more likely to find a cure for cancer if we stop researching from the human genome perspective and start researching from the protemics perspective (looking at the processes in the body).
2. In light of all the damage we've done to our planet, we should be working on creating closed loop systems: everything in the system should be used (i.e. NO waste at all) for another purpose.
3. Nature has some pretty cool building blocks that we can copy in our architecture to make buildings more sustainable, less expensive, and more eco-friendly.
4. The three A's of Awesome (the blog about 1001 awesome things): Attitude, authenticity, and awareness. It's ok to grieve when you hit bumps along the road, but then pick yourself up again. Choose your attitude, choose to move on so you can go back to the highs of life. Be authentic. You'll have more fun! Awareness is about taking everything in and learning as much as you can... just like a 3 year old.
5. Madeline Albright's pin collection started because she was poking fun at Saddam Hussein. This woman has guts and a sense of humor!
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
THESIS
So my thesis is currently consuming my life... I work on my thesis at least once a day. Thankfully, you can see the huge strides I've made. In the past 3 months, I've tripled the content. WOHOO! First 3 chapters are finished (which is cause for major celebration).
Nerd that I am, I thought it would be interesting to do a wordle of my thesis:
It is OBVIOUSLY going well since the important parts are the biggest words :)
Nerd that I am, I thought it would be interesting to do a wordle of my thesis:
It is OBVIOUSLY going well since the important parts are the biggest words :)
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Things I Wish You Knew About Grief
1. Don't be afraid to ask questions. I don't mind telling my story. In fact, it's called "Debriefing" and being able to tell the story is part of the healing process. It won't upset me if you ask questions.
2. No, you don't know how I feel. Losing your grandparents (Or whichever relative) is not the same as losing your brother. And losing someone is not the same as losing Bryan. I'm not saying my grief is worse or better than your grief, I am just saying they are different. Don't try to compare them.
3. Don't be scared to talk to me just because you don't know what to say. You can say "I'm sorry about your brother" or "that sucks." Those are the two best things to say to me.
4. Acknowledge it. Bryan died. It happened. Pretending it didn't is actually harder on me. Then I spend the entire conversation wondering if you know or not. It's such a huge part of me right now that I feel like you are ignoring who I am. It would be like ignoring the fact that you just had a baby or you just got your degree, etc. If you don't know what to say, please see #3. We don't have to have a long conversation about it, but we do have to acknowledge it.
5. Saying things like "it killed me" or "I just about died on the spot" doesn't bug me. It doesn't suddenly remind me that Bryan died. Don't panic about that. Saying Drunk Drivers are terrible people or talking about car accidents like they are no big deal does bug me. *Side note: Drunk Drivers are not bad people. Everyone has a little bad and good in them. Drunk Drivers are just people like you and me who made a bad decision. We make bad decisions frequently, we're just lucky we didn't die from them.
6. Grief wears you out. Not in a depressed way (although depression is a part of grief). Grief wears you out in that it takes at least twice as much effort to walk into work or process a thought or make yourself a meal. So yes, I need a lot of sleep right now. I take at least one nap a day. Normally a power nap does wonders but sometimes I need more.
7. There are good days and there are bad days. You don't get to pick what kind of day you are going to have. Somethings that shouldn't be upsetting are, and some things that should be upsetting are not. Bad days are becoming fewer and farther in between, but they still come.
8. I don't want to get trashed on my birthday. I don't want to see other people get so trashed that they black out. I don't want to hear about how trashed you got last night. I drink still, I just don't see the need to get that drunk every single night. I'm not into alcoholics.
9. Panic Attacks are a part of the grief. They come for no reason at all and have physical symptoms. Your heart rate speeds up and your eyes well up and you have a hard time breathing and you are completely lost. You have no idea what you should be doing you just know you're miserable. Don't say things like "I just about had a panic attack" unless you REALLY actually know what one feels like. They suck. And after you make it through to the other side, sleep is inevitable. Surviving panic attacks completely drains you of every drop of energy.
10. If you have a friend or loved one grieving, check out On Grief and Grieving by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross. It explains things better than I can explain them even. Very smart woman.
2. No, you don't know how I feel. Losing your grandparents (Or whichever relative) is not the same as losing your brother. And losing someone is not the same as losing Bryan. I'm not saying my grief is worse or better than your grief, I am just saying they are different. Don't try to compare them.
3. Don't be scared to talk to me just because you don't know what to say. You can say "I'm sorry about your brother" or "that sucks." Those are the two best things to say to me.
4. Acknowledge it. Bryan died. It happened. Pretending it didn't is actually harder on me. Then I spend the entire conversation wondering if you know or not. It's such a huge part of me right now that I feel like you are ignoring who I am. It would be like ignoring the fact that you just had a baby or you just got your degree, etc. If you don't know what to say, please see #3. We don't have to have a long conversation about it, but we do have to acknowledge it.
5. Saying things like "it killed me" or "I just about died on the spot" doesn't bug me. It doesn't suddenly remind me that Bryan died. Don't panic about that. Saying Drunk Drivers are terrible people or talking about car accidents like they are no big deal does bug me. *Side note: Drunk Drivers are not bad people. Everyone has a little bad and good in them. Drunk Drivers are just people like you and me who made a bad decision. We make bad decisions frequently, we're just lucky we didn't die from them.
6. Grief wears you out. Not in a depressed way (although depression is a part of grief). Grief wears you out in that it takes at least twice as much effort to walk into work or process a thought or make yourself a meal. So yes, I need a lot of sleep right now. I take at least one nap a day. Normally a power nap does wonders but sometimes I need more.
7. There are good days and there are bad days. You don't get to pick what kind of day you are going to have. Somethings that shouldn't be upsetting are, and some things that should be upsetting are not. Bad days are becoming fewer and farther in between, but they still come.
8. I don't want to get trashed on my birthday. I don't want to see other people get so trashed that they black out. I don't want to hear about how trashed you got last night. I drink still, I just don't see the need to get that drunk every single night. I'm not into alcoholics.
9. Panic Attacks are a part of the grief. They come for no reason at all and have physical symptoms. Your heart rate speeds up and your eyes well up and you have a hard time breathing and you are completely lost. You have no idea what you should be doing you just know you're miserable. Don't say things like "I just about had a panic attack" unless you REALLY actually know what one feels like. They suck. And after you make it through to the other side, sleep is inevitable. Surviving panic attacks completely drains you of every drop of energy.
10. If you have a friend or loved one grieving, check out On Grief and Grieving by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross. It explains things better than I can explain them even. Very smart woman.
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Bucket List
Bryan's death has definately changed my view on life. As cheesy as it sounds, that whole "life is short" attitude is a part of my grief. I want to do as many new things as possible, experience the things Bry never got to do.
So here's my bucket list:
-Learn to surf
-Take a cruise
-Get married to the love of my life
-Visit Europe
-Ride in a hot air balloon
-Ride in a helicopter
-Have at least one kid and adopt at least one kid
-Run in (and complete!) a marathon
-Participate in the Breast Cancer 3 Day (LOVE YOU JOANN!)
-Sky Dive
-Ride a mechanical bull
-See the circus
-Ride the train somewhere
-Volunteer with Habitat for Humanity
-See an opera
-Visit Antarctica
-Be on The Price is Right
-Visit NYC (Ground Zero/Statue of Liberty/etc)
-Be hypnotized
-Go geocatching
-Doctorate (Maybe)
-See EVERY James Bond Movie ever made
Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming "WOW! WHAT A RIDE!"
*Cool things that I have all ready marked off my bucket list:
-Move somewhere where you know no one
-Be in a movie
-Master's Degree
-White Water Rafting
-Get a meaningful tattoo
-Send a secret to PostSecret
-Donate Blood
-Project 365 (in the process anyway)
-Learn to ski
-Bachelor's Degree
-Break a Guinness World Record
-Visit Las Vegas
-Visit Hawaii
So here's my bucket list:
-Learn to surf
-Take a cruise
-Get married to the love of my life
-Visit Europe
-Ride in a hot air balloon
-Ride in a helicopter
-Have at least one kid and adopt at least one kid
-Run in (and complete!) a marathon
-Participate in the Breast Cancer 3 Day (LOVE YOU JOANN!)
-Sky Dive
-Ride a mechanical bull
-See the circus
-Ride the train somewhere
-Volunteer with Habitat for Humanity
-See an opera
-Visit Antarctica
-Be on The Price is Right
-Visit NYC (Ground Zero/Statue of Liberty/etc)
-Be hypnotized
-Go geocatching
-Doctorate (Maybe)
-See EVERY James Bond Movie ever made
Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming "WOW! WHAT A RIDE!"
*Cool things that I have all ready marked off my bucket list:
-Move somewhere where you know no one
-Be in a movie
-Master's Degree
-White Water Rafting
-Get a meaningful tattoo
-Send a secret to PostSecret
-Donate Blood
-Project 365 (in the process anyway)
-Learn to ski
-Bachelor's Degree
-Break a Guinness World Record
-Visit Las Vegas
-Visit Hawaii
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Leadership Style
From the Meyers-Briggs Test:
EXTROVERT- outgoing, gregarious, expansive, many social relationships, expressive, congenial, public mixer, mingler at parties, easily begins new relationships, discusses everything with everyone, loves to be in the midst of things, works ideas out with other's input talks, enjoys being the center of attention, objective, reality = immediate environment, easy to read, seeks interactions, enjoys groups, act/speak before thinks, expends energy, focuses outward, talkative, likes variety and action, thinks out loud, enjoys discussing
INTUITIVE- energy focused on what could be possibly, potential, focus on the future, conceptual, imaginative and inspired, focus on the big picture, insights/ideas/inferences/hunches, abstract information, a love for new ideas, anticipation fo future events, seeks inspiration, in the clouds, inventor, initiator, often restless, original, turns building for the future into an art, strong appreciation of initiative, entrepreneur, learns new skills, speculative, trust imagination and hunches, tend to want to try something new; face life expectantly, craving inspiration, very independent of physical surroundings
FEELER- caring, compassionate, tender, warm, forgive, appreciate, include, understand, caress, extenuating circumstances, sentimental, tactful (Not so sure about this one but I WISH!), has difficulty remaining business-like, friendly, sympathize, cherish, decide with heart, value relationships, can be seen as overemotional, usually take things personally, value harmony, mercy; values sentiment above logic, interested in people more than things
JUDGER- comfortable after decision is made, sets fixed goals and concentrates on achieving them, ordered, seeks closure, enjoys having projects framed by definite deadlines, planned, structured, loves to reach completion, finish projects, prefers knowing what they are getting into ahead of time, steady, sustained effort, decisive, protect from unplanned, do the right thing, clear-cut, final
From DiSC training:
high I
strengths as a team member- are available to others, inspire others, spread enthusiasm and positive attitude towards others, give positive feedback to colleagues
strengths as a manager- have an open door policy, give your time to those you direct, deliver negative feedback in a positive way
Dimensions of behavior- entertains a lot, likes gourmet food, has latest kitchen gadgets but doesn't use them, attracted to fancy packaging (so true!), wants to know what all of friends are cooking for dinner
Getting on a busy elevator- says "Always room for one more, Come in, you're going to be late! We'll wait for you"
Shopping for groceries - tells you where everything is in the store whether you ask or not
On the golf course - spends more time talking in the clubhouse than actually on the course
Hanging wallpaper- has the paste and paper in the closet; it's on a list of things to do (They never get around to it)
Ask for something on their desk- says "I'm busy right now, give me a few minutes and I'll get back to you." They don't know where it is but they won't admit it.
Emphasis is on shaping the environment by influencing or persuading others. ((INFLUENCE))
Perfectionist Pattern- influences others by attention to detail/accuracy, controls quality is conscientious of and maintains standards, fears antagonism
Promoter Pattern- is willing to accept others, goal is approval and popularity, judges others by verbal skills, influences others through praise/opportunities/favors, promotes projects and people, relieves tension, overuses praise/optimism, fears loss of social acceptance and self worth, would increase effectiveness through emotional control
Both of these were taken over a semester ago. I wonder if they have changed any since then.
EXTROVERT- outgoing, gregarious, expansive, many social relationships, expressive, congenial, public mixer, mingler at parties, easily begins new relationships, discusses everything with everyone, loves to be in the midst of things, works ideas out with other's input talks, enjoys being the center of attention, objective, reality = immediate environment, easy to read, seeks interactions, enjoys groups, act/speak before thinks, expends energy, focuses outward, talkative, likes variety and action, thinks out loud, enjoys discussing
INTUITIVE- energy focused on what could be possibly, potential, focus on the future, conceptual, imaginative and inspired, focus on the big picture, insights/ideas/inferences/hunches, abstract information, a love for new ideas, anticipation fo future events, seeks inspiration, in the clouds, inventor, initiator, often restless, original, turns building for the future into an art, strong appreciation of initiative, entrepreneur, learns new skills, speculative, trust imagination and hunches, tend to want to try something new; face life expectantly, craving inspiration, very independent of physical surroundings
FEELER- caring, compassionate, tender, warm, forgive, appreciate, include, understand, caress, extenuating circumstances, sentimental, tactful (Not so sure about this one but I WISH!), has difficulty remaining business-like, friendly, sympathize, cherish, decide with heart, value relationships, can be seen as overemotional, usually take things personally, value harmony, mercy; values sentiment above logic, interested in people more than things
JUDGER- comfortable after decision is made, sets fixed goals and concentrates on achieving them, ordered, seeks closure, enjoys having projects framed by definite deadlines, planned, structured, loves to reach completion, finish projects, prefers knowing what they are getting into ahead of time, steady, sustained effort, decisive, protect from unplanned, do the right thing, clear-cut, final
From DiSC training:
high I
strengths as a team member- are available to others, inspire others, spread enthusiasm and positive attitude towards others, give positive feedback to colleagues
strengths as a manager- have an open door policy, give your time to those you direct, deliver negative feedback in a positive way
Dimensions of behavior- entertains a lot, likes gourmet food, has latest kitchen gadgets but doesn't use them, attracted to fancy packaging (so true!), wants to know what all of friends are cooking for dinner
Getting on a busy elevator- says "Always room for one more, Come in, you're going to be late! We'll wait for you"
Shopping for groceries - tells you where everything is in the store whether you ask or not
On the golf course - spends more time talking in the clubhouse than actually on the course
Hanging wallpaper- has the paste and paper in the closet; it's on a list of things to do (They never get around to it)
Ask for something on their desk- says "I'm busy right now, give me a few minutes and I'll get back to you." They don't know where it is but they won't admit it.
Emphasis is on shaping the environment by influencing or persuading others. ((INFLUENCE))
Perfectionist Pattern- influences others by attention to detail/accuracy, controls quality is conscientious of and maintains standards, fears antagonism
Promoter Pattern- is willing to accept others, goal is approval and popularity, judges others by verbal skills, influences others through praise/opportunities/favors, promotes projects and people, relieves tension, overuses praise/optimism, fears loss of social acceptance and self worth, would increase effectiveness through emotional control
Both of these were taken over a semester ago. I wonder if they have changed any since then.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)