One day, I intend to have a big old family. Lately, through much discussion with my family and with friends who have children of there own I have started thinking about things I want to do with my future kids. Some of these things, my parents did with Bry and Teri and I, others are ideas I have found.
Every year for Christmas, each child will get an ornament and a book. Reading is important and if you want your children to read you have to instill reading as a habit in them. As for the ornaments, then when they finally move out, they have a collection of ornaments to put on their first Christmas tree.
Homework should be done as soon as you get home from school, not right before bed. Then you have the rest of the afternoon/evening to play (or read!).
Culture exposure once a month. I don't care what kind of culture, just something: trips to art museums, trying ethnic food, going to a concert of some sort.
My kids will have a pet. It does teach responsibility and it allows you to be comfortable with animals. My dad did not grow up with cats and dogs and was very uncomfortable around them for the longest time. He still gets nervous around big dogs.
I want to read out loud to the kids at least one night a week before bed. Mom did this with us as often as she could and I always loved it. It was calming. Also, I read a lot of great classics that I never had to read for school.
My children will read the following regaurdless of whether it's required or not for school): To Kill a Mockingbird, The Chronicles of Narnia, Harry Potter, A Wrinkle In Time, Great Expectations, The Iliad and The Odyssey, Johnny Tremain, A Midsummer Night's Dream,Charlotte's Web, and whatever else I choose!
Volunteering. This is something I wish I do more currently. Its a work in progress. But I believe in giving back to the community.
I believe in demonstrating the importance of voting. When I go to vote, I will take my children with me, even if that means pulling them from school for a few hours.
I also believe in Mom dates. My mother and I make it a point to spend some time just the two of us whenever I'm home. Its nice to have the time together even if all we do is run errands for an hour.
I intend to teach my kids to play chess. Maybe once a month family game nights?
Once they are teenagers, they will be allowed one glass of wine or one beer at holiday celebrations. My parents did this with us and I think it gave me and Teri a healthy attitude towards alcohol. I wish Bry had learned this, too!
My parents never made us say "Yes, Ma'am" and "No, Sir" but it's a habit I picked up from living in the south and it's one I like. I will teach my children to treat people with this little bit of respect. Its definitely not a New England thing... people get so shocked (and yet pleased) when you speak like that around them.
I will teach my kids how to bake and cook a little.
They will not get their Drivers License until they can check the fluids in a car, add more if needed, jump a car, and change a tire. This has served me well and I'm glad my parents taught me. One year, I was the only girl in the sorority house who knew how to use jumper cables.
I know life with kids is messy and uncoordinated and you have to go with the flow, so some of these things might not happen. But they are goals to work towards- things I intend to at least try to do with my kids.
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Let It B
About 3 months after I turned 18, Bryan and I decided we wanted to get tattoos together. We were not planning on getting matching tattoos, just getting tattoos together. I think it seemed less scary if we got them together. Maybe Mom and Dad's anger would be halved or shared? Whatever it was, we wanted to get tattoos together.
We never seemed capable of making it happen though. I would be in town and Bry wouldn't have the money. Or we'd both have the money but not the time to devote to it. We just never made it happen. Then, when we were in Austin the summer before he died, we had the time and money and we tried. And they told us they wouldn't do it because we had been drinking. At that point, I honestly don't think either of us was drunk, but we didn't get tattoos.
And then Bry died. Maybe it's silly: I don't have many regrets in life, but I regret that we never made it happen before Bryan died.
A month into my grief, I knew I wanted to get a tattoo for Bryan. A memorial. I realized that one of the reasons I never had the time and money at the right time was that I didn't have anything I wanted as a tattoo that was worth spending that much on. Bryan was worth spending the time and money on though.
I actually tried to go to a tattoo parlor in NH before I flew home for Christmas that year but it was no longer there. Then, less than an hour after I landed, B's best friend called me and said the group was going to get Bryan tattoos and they wanted to invite me. I'm incredibly grateful they wanted to do this, too! For one, it made it easier on me to go with other people. And then it also showed me how much they loved B, too. Nothing will ever mean as much to me as it does to know about all the people who loved B so much.
And so, I went in with ideas and this is what I ended up with:
No, I did not forget the "e."
That always seems to be the question people ask me if they don't like tattoos. If they like tattoos, they're smart enough to know the lack of "e" was planned and ask what my tattoo means. Sometimes I explain in depth and others I just say it is for someone named "B."
I originally went in wanting a star with the letter B. B for Bry, a star because the only 2 things that helped calm me were the waves and the stars. Its amazing how small and insignificant you realize you are when looking at the stars or the waves. I don't mean that in a bad way either. I mean that God is so mighty and powerful. And that put a little perspective on my grief. Knowing that God was in control and had a plan helped in some small way. So since getting a tattoo of waves sounded silly, I wanted a star.
And then, from discussion with B's best friends, I realized my tattoo wasn't complete that way. Bryan introduced me to 90% of my taste in music. I probably would have discovered some of it through other people later on in life, but Bryan was the first person to make me listen to the Beatles. And country music (8 hour drive to the beach with Kenny Chesney's greatest hits on repeat!). And a little 80s band that half the people our age don't know. I can add Simon & Garfunkle to that list, too. And then there's the song about peaches (I'm smiling just thinking about this one. SO ridiculous!).
"Let it Be" seemed to fit so well with his attitude towards life. He made the best with what came his way, rarely stayed mad, and loved to laugh. So what if it's not perfect? There's something good we can find in the situation.
Now, let it B is a reminder to me; a reminder to be more like Bry, to stop stressing over the small stuff and enjoy life more, to laugh more and forgive people quickly.
As always, ripBPTily!
We never seemed capable of making it happen though. I would be in town and Bry wouldn't have the money. Or we'd both have the money but not the time to devote to it. We just never made it happen. Then, when we were in Austin the summer before he died, we had the time and money and we tried. And they told us they wouldn't do it because we had been drinking. At that point, I honestly don't think either of us was drunk, but we didn't get tattoos.
And then Bry died. Maybe it's silly: I don't have many regrets in life, but I regret that we never made it happen before Bryan died.
A month into my grief, I knew I wanted to get a tattoo for Bryan. A memorial. I realized that one of the reasons I never had the time and money at the right time was that I didn't have anything I wanted as a tattoo that was worth spending that much on. Bryan was worth spending the time and money on though.
I actually tried to go to a tattoo parlor in NH before I flew home for Christmas that year but it was no longer there. Then, less than an hour after I landed, B's best friend called me and said the group was going to get Bryan tattoos and they wanted to invite me. I'm incredibly grateful they wanted to do this, too! For one, it made it easier on me to go with other people. And then it also showed me how much they loved B, too. Nothing will ever mean as much to me as it does to know about all the people who loved B so much.
And so, I went in with ideas and this is what I ended up with:
No, I did not forget the "e."
That always seems to be the question people ask me if they don't like tattoos. If they like tattoos, they're smart enough to know the lack of "e" was planned and ask what my tattoo means. Sometimes I explain in depth and others I just say it is for someone named "B."
I originally went in wanting a star with the letter B. B for Bry, a star because the only 2 things that helped calm me were the waves and the stars. Its amazing how small and insignificant you realize you are when looking at the stars or the waves. I don't mean that in a bad way either. I mean that God is so mighty and powerful. And that put a little perspective on my grief. Knowing that God was in control and had a plan helped in some small way. So since getting a tattoo of waves sounded silly, I wanted a star.
And then, from discussion with B's best friends, I realized my tattoo wasn't complete that way. Bryan introduced me to 90% of my taste in music. I probably would have discovered some of it through other people later on in life, but Bryan was the first person to make me listen to the Beatles. And country music (8 hour drive to the beach with Kenny Chesney's greatest hits on repeat!). And a little 80s band that half the people our age don't know. I can add Simon & Garfunkle to that list, too. And then there's the song about peaches (I'm smiling just thinking about this one. SO ridiculous!).
"Let it Be" seemed to fit so well with his attitude towards life. He made the best with what came his way, rarely stayed mad, and loved to laugh. So what if it's not perfect? There's something good we can find in the situation.
Now, let it B is a reminder to me; a reminder to be more like Bry, to stop stressing over the small stuff and enjoy life more, to laugh more and forgive people quickly.
As always, ripBPTily!
Saturday, November 5, 2011
Crafting for Cousins
When I was little, my mother made these cute little gloves for my sister and me. We LOVED them. They were fancy and made us feel like a million bucks. I decided to make a few pairs to send to some little cousins of mine. I think they will get a kick out of them.
They are incredibly easy to make. You will need:
-Gloves for little hands
-Stuffing of some sort (I used plastic grocery bags)
-Fabric Paint (Glittery is even better)
-Rhinestone/Jewels
Steps:
1. Stuff the fingers of each glove.
2. Paint nails on the fingertips.
3. Paint a ring band on the ring finger and immediately place a gem on top.
EASY! :)
They are incredibly easy to make. You will need:
-Gloves for little hands
-Stuffing of some sort (I used plastic grocery bags)
-Fabric Paint (Glittery is even better)
-Rhinestone/Jewels
Steps:
1. Stuff the fingers of each glove.
2. Paint nails on the fingertips.
3. Paint a ring band on the ring finger and immediately place a gem on top.
EASY! :)
Giving Thanks!
Since Thanksgiving is right around the corner, I think now is a great opportunity to be thankful for all the blessing God has put in my life. Really, we should choose to give thanks every day, no blessing is too small and they surround us each and every day. For now, I'll start with thanking God for something new everyday in November.
11/1: I am thankful for the professional development my job is pouring into me. In a few weeks, they are sending me on an all-expense paid trip to the Athletic Business Conference. I'm doing a pre-conference workshop that lets me tour backstage Disney and there is a session on the Vibram 5 Finger shoes that looks really interesting. And then in the spring, Mizzou will be sending me to get a climbing wall instructor certification as well.
11/2: I am thankful for Ellie, even if she isn't house trained yet. She makes coming home so much easier! She's always excited to see me and she cuddles up with me when I'm missing home. She also likes to walk me on her leash: She holds the leash in her mouth and pulls me places (haha).
11/3: I am so incredibly thankful for the folks who held Bry's hand after the accident, until the Medics got to the scene. They have touched my heart in ways I can't even explain. To value him enough to hold his hand even though things probably looked really grim is just amazing. I hope I would have the courage to do that in the same situation. They valued him as a human being, as somebody who belonged to somebody else. For the longest time after his death, I had sympathy for just about no one other than my family and this couple.
11/4: I am thankful for an evening to de-stress. I spent the evening in downtown, painting, eating pizza, drinking beer, and playing pool. After working for 2 weeks straight with out a day off, this evening was much appreciated.
11/5: Today I am thankful for a day off. I've done laundry and dishes, vacuumed the apt, I've got the crock pot on, I get to catch up on Grey's Anatomy and Private Practice, hoping to even get some crafting done this afternoon.
11/6: I am thankful for good hot tea. Silly, I know, but tea has a way of calming me down and making me feel good. And it's calorie free. So much better than dessert!
11/7: I am thankful for Teri and Bryan. They shaped my life and they continue to influence me in a very positive way. I wouldn't be who I am today without them. I think about them each and everyday.
11/8: I am thankful for the students I get to work with each and every day. The Team Mizzou student staff is a great group. They challenge me and teach me (and the girls ALWAYS compliment my style). They make me laugh and they make me smile.
11/9: I am so thankful for my extended family, The Gozdeckis/Hayleys. Caitlin was the first person I called when I found out Bry had died. And they've allowed me to be a part of Henry's life as an aunt. Some days I think they know me better than I think I know me.
11/10: I am thankful for the 2 years I got to live in New England. My experiences there taught me so much and really changed the way I view life.
11/11: I am thankful for Josh and all of the other heroes who serve our great nation day in and day out. Lord please keep a watchful eye over this mischievous marine! He is very important to me!
11/12: I am thankful for Pandora. I have no idea how I would get anything done around my apt (Like multiple loads of laundry, vacuuming, dishes, cleaning the bathroom, cleaning out the fridge, cooking, etc) unless I had music to rock out to.
11/13: I am thankful for the beautiful weather today! 70 and sunny was a blessing this late in the year.
11/14: I am thankful for snail mail. It always makes me happy to get snail mail.
11/15: I am thankful for my Aunt and Uncle who let me spend the past 2 Turkey Days with them! It seems weird spending Thanksgiving at home this year.
11/16: I am thankful for Guy and Connie Ambrose as well as Aunt Beth and Uncle Kevin. They have been such strong supports for my parents in the past few years. They are fellowship and support in a nutshell.
11/17: I am thankful for facebook and blogspot for giving me the ability to keep in touch with the most important people in my life!
11/18: I am thankful for all my wonderful friends who stuck with me through my grief. I know it was not exactly a properly operating relationship, but you mean the world to me and if you ever need it, you know I'll be there for you in return!
11/19: I am thankful for the library. FREE reading!
11/20: I am thankful for the people who have invested time and effort into helping me get to where I am today. I only hope that I can pay it forward and mentor the students I get to work with now!
11/21: I am so thankful for Lucy and Bandit. They are a piece of Bryan that lives on. I can be okay with the fact that he never got to be a dad because he was their dad. They meant the world to him and they helped me through my grief.
11/22: I am so thankful for all my cousins! They have shaped me in ways we didn't even realize. The older I get, the more I appreciate them (including all of their little ones!).
11/23: I am thankful for Nugget! My first "adult" purchase was a very good decision. I have built up pretty awesome credit with Nugget and she has been so reliable! LOVE her!
11/24: I am thankful for mom's sweet potato casserole. MAJOR comfort food. When Bry and I used to fight over the leftovers from Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners, this was the most sought after item. I miss that about him.
11/25: I am thankful for my Dad and all his goofy-ness. I never go home without some sort of snack or food that he got just for me, and some cash. He's convinced that I'm starving and poor. Half the time I am (haha).
*Update* I was too busy enjoying my thanksgiving with my family to finish this. I'm ok with that. My family is so important to me!
11/1: I am thankful for the professional development my job is pouring into me. In a few weeks, they are sending me on an all-expense paid trip to the Athletic Business Conference. I'm doing a pre-conference workshop that lets me tour backstage Disney and there is a session on the Vibram 5 Finger shoes that looks really interesting. And then in the spring, Mizzou will be sending me to get a climbing wall instructor certification as well.
11/2: I am thankful for Ellie, even if she isn't house trained yet. She makes coming home so much easier! She's always excited to see me and she cuddles up with me when I'm missing home. She also likes to walk me on her leash: She holds the leash in her mouth and pulls me places (haha).
11/3: I am so incredibly thankful for the folks who held Bry's hand after the accident, until the Medics got to the scene. They have touched my heart in ways I can't even explain. To value him enough to hold his hand even though things probably looked really grim is just amazing. I hope I would have the courage to do that in the same situation. They valued him as a human being, as somebody who belonged to somebody else. For the longest time after his death, I had sympathy for just about no one other than my family and this couple.
11/4: I am thankful for an evening to de-stress. I spent the evening in downtown, painting, eating pizza, drinking beer, and playing pool. After working for 2 weeks straight with out a day off, this evening was much appreciated.
11/5: Today I am thankful for a day off. I've done laundry and dishes, vacuumed the apt, I've got the crock pot on, I get to catch up on Grey's Anatomy and Private Practice, hoping to even get some crafting done this afternoon.
11/6: I am thankful for good hot tea. Silly, I know, but tea has a way of calming me down and making me feel good. And it's calorie free. So much better than dessert!
11/7: I am thankful for Teri and Bryan. They shaped my life and they continue to influence me in a very positive way. I wouldn't be who I am today without them. I think about them each and everyday.
11/8: I am thankful for the students I get to work with each and every day. The Team Mizzou student staff is a great group. They challenge me and teach me (and the girls ALWAYS compliment my style). They make me laugh and they make me smile.
11/9: I am so thankful for my extended family, The Gozdeckis/Hayleys. Caitlin was the first person I called when I found out Bry had died. And they've allowed me to be a part of Henry's life as an aunt. Some days I think they know me better than I think I know me.
11/10: I am thankful for the 2 years I got to live in New England. My experiences there taught me so much and really changed the way I view life.
11/11: I am thankful for Josh and all of the other heroes who serve our great nation day in and day out. Lord please keep a watchful eye over this mischievous marine! He is very important to me!
11/12: I am thankful for Pandora. I have no idea how I would get anything done around my apt (Like multiple loads of laundry, vacuuming, dishes, cleaning the bathroom, cleaning out the fridge, cooking, etc) unless I had music to rock out to.
11/13: I am thankful for the beautiful weather today! 70 and sunny was a blessing this late in the year.
11/14: I am thankful for snail mail. It always makes me happy to get snail mail.
11/15: I am thankful for my Aunt and Uncle who let me spend the past 2 Turkey Days with them! It seems weird spending Thanksgiving at home this year.
11/16: I am thankful for Guy and Connie Ambrose as well as Aunt Beth and Uncle Kevin. They have been such strong supports for my parents in the past few years. They are fellowship and support in a nutshell.
11/17: I am thankful for facebook and blogspot for giving me the ability to keep in touch with the most important people in my life!
11/18: I am thankful for all my wonderful friends who stuck with me through my grief. I know it was not exactly a properly operating relationship, but you mean the world to me and if you ever need it, you know I'll be there for you in return!
11/19: I am thankful for the library. FREE reading!
11/20: I am thankful for the people who have invested time and effort into helping me get to where I am today. I only hope that I can pay it forward and mentor the students I get to work with now!
11/21: I am so thankful for Lucy and Bandit. They are a piece of Bryan that lives on. I can be okay with the fact that he never got to be a dad because he was their dad. They meant the world to him and they helped me through my grief.
11/22: I am so thankful for all my cousins! They have shaped me in ways we didn't even realize. The older I get, the more I appreciate them (including all of their little ones!).
11/23: I am thankful for Nugget! My first "adult" purchase was a very good decision. I have built up pretty awesome credit with Nugget and she has been so reliable! LOVE her!
11/24: I am thankful for mom's sweet potato casserole. MAJOR comfort food. When Bry and I used to fight over the leftovers from Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners, this was the most sought after item. I miss that about him.
11/25: I am thankful for my Dad and all his goofy-ness. I never go home without some sort of snack or food that he got just for me, and some cash. He's convinced that I'm starving and poor. Half the time I am (haha).
*Update* I was too busy enjoying my thanksgiving with my family to finish this. I'm ok with that. My family is so important to me!
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Tiger Cub
You know the Tiger Mom that stirred up a ton of debate this past year? Her daughter is now blogging (see the link on the right side of my page). She was also elected Valedictorian of her High School Class. Her speech was pretty awesome. Here it is written out:
I want to thank my wonderful teachers, family and friends who are here today, and my fellow seniors for giving me the honor of speaking. When I first started planning this speech a few weeks back, I realized that every possible speech has been done before. The reach-for-the-stars speech, the don’t-reach-for-the-stars speech, the speech about writing a speech – so I thought that instead of giving a speech of my own, for the next half hour or so I’d just read aloud from my favorite book: Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother.
Just kidding. I actually did write a speech. My friends, the unrivaled, indomitable class of 2011, today I want to talk about us. Along the way, I have just 3 things to say – and then let’s graduate.
So, seniors, who were we at Hopkins? We were the dream class. I don’t think any class in Hopkins history has spent so much time in the library, broken so many records, or possessed so much raw talent. We threw ourselves into our passions – as DJ’s, paramedics, and painters, running-backs, horse-back riders and center-mids – with unparalleled work ethic, integrity and zeal. We poured hundreds of hours into term papers and test preparations – and, well, it all paid off.
Yet somehow, we managed to have fun. Seniors, we were a class that crossed a lot of lines. We had ghostriding incidents, we put something in the water, and as far as I know, we’re the first Hopkins class ever to graduate in sunglasses.
Now all of this is wonderful. It’s who we are as a class. But the first point I want to make is that who you were at Hopkins doesn’t define who you will be for the rest of your life.
Let me tell you a story. Once upon a time, a mother gave her children some paints to play with. Six out the seven kids painted puppets. The last kid took the paint and drew a life-size army battalion all over the walls of the room. That kid grew up to be Napoleon Bonaparte. Similarly, some of you already know exactly who want to be. Sam, I expect you to be president by our 30th reunion; Alex I want to see that Nobel prize, and Adam, you better be a 5-star general.
Let me tell you another story. A couple years ago, studious girl from Tennessee, plays in the school marching band, aces the SAT and gets into Barnard College. Today, that girl is Ke$ha, spelled with a dollar sign.
“Just be yourself” – I know these are supposed to be words of freedom, and of course they are, but it seems to me they can also be constricting: when you change, people get scared. It takes bravery to step out of your comfort zone, and people will always have something to say about it. You make new friends, suddenly you’re a social climber. You wear a new outfit to school, and suddenly, oh you’re trying so hard. NO. Okay, maybe the denim jumpsuit was a bad idea. But don’t listen. You have absolutely no obligation to be who you are at 18 for the rest of your life. It’s not wrong to change.
“Be yourself” means “be whoever you want to be.” Not “be who your friends think you are.” Not “be the same person you were last year.” If you’ve always known what you want to be, more power to you. But it’s equally great if you wake up tomorrow morning thinking, “I’m gonna take a gap year to make a documentary in Cambodia.” “I know I signed up to do Teach For America this fall, but – I wanna start a hedge fund.” Dare to be who you’re not. The world has no right to tell you who you are, so don’t let anyone’s judgment or expectations hold you back.
That’s point one. Let’s first come back to who we are, class of 2011. I began this speech by saying we have crossed lines together. But let’s face the reality: we go to Hopkins. Sure, we all make a big show of living life on the edge. “Macbeth paper due next period? Haven’t started.” You hear that everywhere. But everyone knows that in 55 minutes, that paper will be on Mr. Johnson’s desk. That’s also part of who we are: we so want to be rebellious, but we always get the job done.
So I think there’s a good chance that, sometime in the future when we are free from the constraints of Hopkins, many of us will want to do more than talk about breaking the mold. And that’s point two. If you want to rebel, rebel in a way that matters.
There’s a quote I love from Lolita – and this is probably the first time a valedictorian thought it was a good idea to quote a child-molesting psychopath – that reads as follows:
“it occurred to me - not by way of protest, not as a symbol, or anything like that, but merely as a novel experience - that since I had disregarded all laws of humanity, I might as well disregard the rules of traffic. So I crossed to the left side of the highway and checked the feeling, and the feeling was good.”
A rebel has courage. A rebel undertakes personal risk for something they believe in. Anyone can say, “forget this,” cut class, smoke weed. You know why? Because it’s easy. It doesn’t make you a rebel. You’re a failing cog in the machine, but you’re still a cog in the machine.
If you don’t like the system, get out of the system. Because a lot of the time, the system is wrong. I don’t need to describe societal injustice; you know it’s out there. There is so much to fix. So often, the system is broken. Another mistake is to think that we have somehow maxed out, or “arrived.” With iPads, 3D-Printers, 4G networks, it may feel as though things can’t get any better, as though we’ve already made every possible breakthrough. But let me tell you, people felt that same way when fire first came out, and then stairs, and car-phones. There is ALWAYS something unfathomable around the corner. Instead of being shocked by the next earth-shattering discovery, make that discovery. Be the one salmon that swims downstream. Rock other people’s worlds.
If you want to be a rebel, don’t just break the rules: make the rules.
You could characterize rebellion as doing the WRONG thing for the RIGHT reason. My final point is that sometimes, it’s also okay to do the RIGHT thing for the WRONG reason.
What is the right reason to do the right thing? I think we, seniors, wrestle with this question all the time. We know too much to think people are saints. Seniors, you know what I’m talking about: you all filled out the CommonApp, and included the 5000 hours of community service and soup kitchens. It can make you more focused on the motive than the deed itself. You wonder if people actually care about the impoverished nation they’re holding a bake sale for. You want to volunteer at an animal shelter because puppies are cute, but also because girls go crazy for that sort of thing. And deep down, a voice inside you asks, “if I’m doing this for a selfish reason, should I be doing it at all?”
But again, don’t listen to that voice. Your motives may not be pure, but by taking action, you are doing more for the world than someone who does nothing at all. Doesn’t matter if that same voice says, “Working in a soup kitchen is so cliche.” Do it anyway. We’re too smart not to be cynical. But let’s be smart enough to be idealistic as well.
Well guys, this is it. The time has come to say goodbye: to your room, to your dog, to your childhood. Our time at Hopkins is over. For most of us, it’s the last time we’ll play on a varsity team, or know the name of everyone in our grade. All of us have toasted our last Ski Lodge Day marshmallows. We’ll never again be sent “off to class.” We’ve pledged our honor here for the final time.
So what have I said to you today? Dare to change. Dare to disobey. Dare to take action. My friends, you are brilliant, you are unbeatable, and now, I ask you to be bold as well.
If you go downtown, to the corner of College and Grove, you’ll find yourself at the Yale War Memorial. It’s quiet and cool, and the names of Yale’s fallen servicemen are carved on the walls. Above these names is an inscription, and very people know this, but that inscription was chosen by Hopkins’ own Simeon Baldwin in 1912. It reads, Courage disdains fame, and wins it. My friends, Hopkins class of 2011: Be courageous. Cross the line. Congratulations. Thank you.
I want to thank my wonderful teachers, family and friends who are here today, and my fellow seniors for giving me the honor of speaking. When I first started planning this speech a few weeks back, I realized that every possible speech has been done before. The reach-for-the-stars speech, the don’t-reach-for-the-stars speech, the speech about writing a speech – so I thought that instead of giving a speech of my own, for the next half hour or so I’d just read aloud from my favorite book: Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother.
Just kidding. I actually did write a speech. My friends, the unrivaled, indomitable class of 2011, today I want to talk about us. Along the way, I have just 3 things to say – and then let’s graduate.
So, seniors, who were we at Hopkins? We were the dream class. I don’t think any class in Hopkins history has spent so much time in the library, broken so many records, or possessed so much raw talent. We threw ourselves into our passions – as DJ’s, paramedics, and painters, running-backs, horse-back riders and center-mids – with unparalleled work ethic, integrity and zeal. We poured hundreds of hours into term papers and test preparations – and, well, it all paid off.
Yet somehow, we managed to have fun. Seniors, we were a class that crossed a lot of lines. We had ghostriding incidents, we put something in the water, and as far as I know, we’re the first Hopkins class ever to graduate in sunglasses.
Now all of this is wonderful. It’s who we are as a class. But the first point I want to make is that who you were at Hopkins doesn’t define who you will be for the rest of your life.
Let me tell you a story. Once upon a time, a mother gave her children some paints to play with. Six out the seven kids painted puppets. The last kid took the paint and drew a life-size army battalion all over the walls of the room. That kid grew up to be Napoleon Bonaparte. Similarly, some of you already know exactly who want to be. Sam, I expect you to be president by our 30th reunion; Alex I want to see that Nobel prize, and Adam, you better be a 5-star general.
Let me tell you another story. A couple years ago, studious girl from Tennessee, plays in the school marching band, aces the SAT and gets into Barnard College. Today, that girl is Ke$ha, spelled with a dollar sign.
“Just be yourself” – I know these are supposed to be words of freedom, and of course they are, but it seems to me they can also be constricting: when you change, people get scared. It takes bravery to step out of your comfort zone, and people will always have something to say about it. You make new friends, suddenly you’re a social climber. You wear a new outfit to school, and suddenly, oh you’re trying so hard. NO. Okay, maybe the denim jumpsuit was a bad idea. But don’t listen. You have absolutely no obligation to be who you are at 18 for the rest of your life. It’s not wrong to change.
“Be yourself” means “be whoever you want to be.” Not “be who your friends think you are.” Not “be the same person you were last year.” If you’ve always known what you want to be, more power to you. But it’s equally great if you wake up tomorrow morning thinking, “I’m gonna take a gap year to make a documentary in Cambodia.” “I know I signed up to do Teach For America this fall, but – I wanna start a hedge fund.” Dare to be who you’re not. The world has no right to tell you who you are, so don’t let anyone’s judgment or expectations hold you back.
That’s point one. Let’s first come back to who we are, class of 2011. I began this speech by saying we have crossed lines together. But let’s face the reality: we go to Hopkins. Sure, we all make a big show of living life on the edge. “Macbeth paper due next period? Haven’t started.” You hear that everywhere. But everyone knows that in 55 minutes, that paper will be on Mr. Johnson’s desk. That’s also part of who we are: we so want to be rebellious, but we always get the job done.
So I think there’s a good chance that, sometime in the future when we are free from the constraints of Hopkins, many of us will want to do more than talk about breaking the mold. And that’s point two. If you want to rebel, rebel in a way that matters.
There’s a quote I love from Lolita – and this is probably the first time a valedictorian thought it was a good idea to quote a child-molesting psychopath – that reads as follows:
“it occurred to me - not by way of protest, not as a symbol, or anything like that, but merely as a novel experience - that since I had disregarded all laws of humanity, I might as well disregard the rules of traffic. So I crossed to the left side of the highway and checked the feeling, and the feeling was good.”
A rebel has courage. A rebel undertakes personal risk for something they believe in. Anyone can say, “forget this,” cut class, smoke weed. You know why? Because it’s easy. It doesn’t make you a rebel. You’re a failing cog in the machine, but you’re still a cog in the machine.
If you don’t like the system, get out of the system. Because a lot of the time, the system is wrong. I don’t need to describe societal injustice; you know it’s out there. There is so much to fix. So often, the system is broken. Another mistake is to think that we have somehow maxed out, or “arrived.” With iPads, 3D-Printers, 4G networks, it may feel as though things can’t get any better, as though we’ve already made every possible breakthrough. But let me tell you, people felt that same way when fire first came out, and then stairs, and car-phones. There is ALWAYS something unfathomable around the corner. Instead of being shocked by the next earth-shattering discovery, make that discovery. Be the one salmon that swims downstream. Rock other people’s worlds.
If you want to be a rebel, don’t just break the rules: make the rules.
You could characterize rebellion as doing the WRONG thing for the RIGHT reason. My final point is that sometimes, it’s also okay to do the RIGHT thing for the WRONG reason.
What is the right reason to do the right thing? I think we, seniors, wrestle with this question all the time. We know too much to think people are saints. Seniors, you know what I’m talking about: you all filled out the CommonApp, and included the 5000 hours of community service and soup kitchens. It can make you more focused on the motive than the deed itself. You wonder if people actually care about the impoverished nation they’re holding a bake sale for. You want to volunteer at an animal shelter because puppies are cute, but also because girls go crazy for that sort of thing. And deep down, a voice inside you asks, “if I’m doing this for a selfish reason, should I be doing it at all?”
But again, don’t listen to that voice. Your motives may not be pure, but by taking action, you are doing more for the world than someone who does nothing at all. Doesn’t matter if that same voice says, “Working in a soup kitchen is so cliche.” Do it anyway. We’re too smart not to be cynical. But let’s be smart enough to be idealistic as well.
Well guys, this is it. The time has come to say goodbye: to your room, to your dog, to your childhood. Our time at Hopkins is over. For most of us, it’s the last time we’ll play on a varsity team, or know the name of everyone in our grade. All of us have toasted our last Ski Lodge Day marshmallows. We’ll never again be sent “off to class.” We’ve pledged our honor here for the final time.
So what have I said to you today? Dare to change. Dare to disobey. Dare to take action. My friends, you are brilliant, you are unbeatable, and now, I ask you to be bold as well.
If you go downtown, to the corner of College and Grove, you’ll find yourself at the Yale War Memorial. It’s quiet and cool, and the names of Yale’s fallen servicemen are carved on the walls. Above these names is an inscription, and very people know this, but that inscription was chosen by Hopkins’ own Simeon Baldwin in 1912. It reads, Courage disdains fame, and wins it. My friends, Hopkins class of 2011: Be courageous. Cross the line. Congratulations. Thank you.
Thursday, June 16, 2011
craftMANIA!
Some Crafts I want to work on but not on Pinterest:
Quilting: http://www.makeandtakes.com/10-week-basic-quilt-along-series
Crocheting more than a basic chain: http://www.makeandtakes.com/basic-crochet-series-getting-started
A list of craft blogs I'd like to further peruse:
1. http://ellebelleblog.blogspot.com/
2. http://blissfulanddomestic.blogspot.com/
3. http://pintucksandruffles.blogspot.com/
4. http://www.craftbuds.com/simple-summer-headbands-tutorial/
5. http://landeeseelandeedo.blogspot.com/
6. http://thecreativeitchboutique.blogspot.com/
7. http://www.morganandkari.com/
8. http://gingersnapcrafts.blogspot.com/
9. http://momscrazycooking.blogspot.com/ (BC now, in addition to crafting, I seem to enjoy trying out new recipes)
10. http://sofabulouslyflawed.blogspot.com/
11. http://afishwholikesflowers.blogspot.com/
12. http://suburbsmama.blogspot.com/
13. http://sarah-hennesseyhouse.blogspot.com/
14. http://runwithglitter.blogspot.com/
15. http://somethingcreatedeveryday.blogspot.com/
16. http://www.livingwithpunks.com/
17. http://johnnyinadress.blogspot.com/
18. http://whisk-kid.blogspot.com/p/recipe-index.html (BC suddenly I'm into cooking/baking too)
19. http://scratchycatcrafter.blogspot.com/
20. http://www.simplysadiejane.com/
21. http://littleloveliesbyallison.blogspot.com/
22. http://kitchenfunk.blogspot.com/
23. http://youngancrafty.blogspot.com/
24. http://dreaming-n-color.blogspot.com/
25. http://persialou.blogspot.com/
26. http://amandaparkerandfamily.blogspot.com/
27. http://taylormadehome.blogspot.com/
28. http://www.redtedart.com/
29. http://fullofgreatideas.blogspot.com/
30. http://lindycottagehill.blogspot.com/
31. http://www.creatingreallyawesomefreethings.com/search?updated-max=2011-06-14T07%3A00%3A00-05%3A00&max-results=10
32. http://dittledattle.blogspot.com/search?updated-max=2011-05-26T15%3A28%3A00-04%3A00&max-results=5
33. http://icandyhandmade.blogspot.com/search?updated-max=2011-06-13T16%3A44%3A00-07%3A00&max-results=7
34. http://scrappingwithbuffie.blogspot.com/search?updated-max=2011-03-29T18%3A04%3A00-06%3A00&max-results=500
35. http://www.mesewcrazy.com/search?updated-max=2011-06-15T00%3A00%3A00-07%3A00&max-results=6 (I really want to learn to sew)
36. http://www.whateverdeedeewants.com/
37. http://makingtheworldcuter.blogspot.com/search?updated-max=2011-06-02T13%3A08%3A00-07%3A00&max-results=50
38. http://www.thegirlcreative.com/
39. http://christyrobbins.blogspot.com/
40. http://www.finecraftguild.com/messenger-bag-cool-map-craft/
41. http://melaniescrafts.blogspot.com/
42. http://holy-craft.blogspot.com/p/link-up-parties.html
43. http://karascreativeplace.blogspot.com/
44. http://karascreativeplace.blogspot.com/
45. http://firefliesandjellybeans.blogspot.com/
46. http://sweetpeasandbb.blogspot.com/
47. http://smithcraftadventures.blogspot.com/
48. http://afishwholikesflowers.blogspot.com/
49. http://livingcraftilyeverafter.blogspot.com/
50. http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/1CdgnQ/www.creatingreallyawesomefreethings.com/2011/09/20-unique-pumpkin-ideas.html
I also have to do this: http://whoopdwhoop.com/register/index/r/745
Quilting: http://www.makeandtakes.com/10-week-basic-quilt-along-series
Crocheting more than a basic chain: http://www.makeandtakes.com/basic-crochet-series-getting-started
A list of craft blogs I'd like to further peruse:
1. http://ellebelleblog.blogspot.com/
2. http://blissfulanddomestic.blogspot.com/
3. http://pintucksandruffles.blogspot.com/
4. http://www.craftbuds.com/simple-summer-headbands-tutorial/
5. http://landeeseelandeedo.blogspot.com/
6. http://thecreativeitchboutique.blogspot.com/
7. http://www.morganandkari.com/
8. http://gingersnapcrafts.blogspot.com/
9. http://momscrazycooking.blogspot.com/ (BC now, in addition to crafting, I seem to enjoy trying out new recipes)
10. http://sofabulouslyflawed.blogspot.com/
11. http://afishwholikesflowers.blogspot.com/
12. http://suburbsmama.blogspot.com/
13. http://sarah-hennesseyhouse.blogspot.com/
14. http://runwithglitter.blogspot.com/
15. http://somethingcreatedeveryday.blogspot.com/
16. http://www.livingwithpunks.com/
17. http://johnnyinadress.blogspot.com/
18. http://whisk-kid.blogspot.com/p/recipe-index.html (BC suddenly I'm into cooking/baking too)
19. http://scratchycatcrafter.blogspot.com/
20. http://www.simplysadiejane.com/
21. http://littleloveliesbyallison.blogspot.com/
22. http://kitchenfunk.blogspot.com/
23. http://youngancrafty.blogspot.com/
24. http://dreaming-n-color.blogspot.com/
25. http://persialou.blogspot.com/
26. http://amandaparkerandfamily.blogspot.com/
27. http://taylormadehome.blogspot.com/
28. http://www.redtedart.com/
29. http://fullofgreatideas.blogspot.com/
30. http://lindycottagehill.blogspot.com/
31. http://www.creatingreallyawesomefreethings.com/search?updated-max=2011-06-14T07%3A00%3A00-05%3A00&max-results=10
32. http://dittledattle.blogspot.com/search?updated-max=2011-05-26T15%3A28%3A00-04%3A00&max-results=5
33. http://icandyhandmade.blogspot.com/search?updated-max=2011-06-13T16%3A44%3A00-07%3A00&max-results=7
34. http://scrappingwithbuffie.blogspot.com/search?updated-max=2011-03-29T18%3A04%3A00-06%3A00&max-results=500
35. http://www.mesewcrazy.com/search?updated-max=2011-06-15T00%3A00%3A00-07%3A00&max-results=6 (I really want to learn to sew)
36. http://www.whateverdeedeewants.com/
37. http://makingtheworldcuter.blogspot.com/search?updated-max=2011-06-02T13%3A08%3A00-07%3A00&max-results=50
38. http://www.thegirlcreative.com/
39. http://christyrobbins.blogspot.com/
40. http://www.finecraftguild.com/messenger-bag-cool-map-craft/
41. http://melaniescrafts.blogspot.com/
42. http://holy-craft.blogspot.com/p/link-up-parties.html
43. http://karascreativeplace.blogspot.com/
44. http://karascreativeplace.blogspot.com/
45. http://firefliesandjellybeans.blogspot.com/
46. http://sweetpeasandbb.blogspot.com/
47. http://smithcraftadventures.blogspot.com/
48. http://afishwholikesflowers.blogspot.com/
49. http://livingcraftilyeverafter.blogspot.com/
50. http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/1CdgnQ/www.creatingreallyawesomefreethings.com/2011/09/20-unique-pumpkin-ideas.html
I also have to do this: http://whoopdwhoop.com/register/index/r/745
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
TED Talks about style...
"It is almost physiologically impossible to be unhappy when you're wearing bright red pants" - Jessi Arrington
You should check out Jessi's blog (Look in the list of Blogs I follow. Her's is Lucky So and So.)! Her economically responsible way of looking at clothing is responsible AND fun. I have to agree that wearing fun colors makes you feel happier :)
Jessi also says to surround yourself with the right people and BE YOURSELF! If you're with the right people, not only will they get it, but they'll appreciate it!
In another TED talk, I learned that silk is biodegradable. How cool is that? It's one of the few materials that is eco friendly. Doesn't take much to create or destroy. It also forms based on whatever it is sitting on so you can copy a message into silk. It's also bio-compatible- you can put it into your body and your body accepts it.
You should check out Jessi's blog (Look in the list of Blogs I follow. Her's is Lucky So and So.)! Her economically responsible way of looking at clothing is responsible AND fun. I have to agree that wearing fun colors makes you feel happier :)
Jessi also says to surround yourself with the right people and BE YOURSELF! If you're with the right people, not only will they get it, but they'll appreciate it!
In another TED talk, I learned that silk is biodegradable. How cool is that? It's one of the few materials that is eco friendly. Doesn't take much to create or destroy. It also forms based on whatever it is sitting on so you can copy a message into silk. It's also bio-compatible- you can put it into your body and your body accepts it.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Poems on Grief
Someone I love very much wrote these poems after my brother died. They're absolutely beautiful so I had to share.
1
I sit by the window, rain running down the panes, splashing into puddles
Birds wash and preen, play in the rain.
Children romping, stomping in puddles, dancing and playing in the rain.
All I have left are my memories and tears,
I know the platitudes, move on, stop crying, he wouldn’t want you to be so sad.
I’m stuck in this valley of shadows, and death and mourning.
The world continues and I’m stuck in one day.
I have no memory past that day,
Six months later I awake in such pain
How do I live with out you?
There is no praise for God, just questions and anger and fear.
Why must you die, my life is such a lie.
I miss your smile, your voice, your laugh, your hugs, your beautiful brown eyes.
You died!
And I’m left in the saddest place I’ve ever been.
2
Drowning in the water,
Cold and dark,
I feel pain, and grief, and fear all around me.
Light, warmth and hope,
way above me.
Lying, I say, “I’m good”, I’m fine” and
“I’ll be okay.”
I’m left here,
Deep in the sea
Alone!
Later
Much later,
I feel Warmth! And Light! And Hope!
I see colors, blue skies, golden suns, green growing grass,
and hear, the birds, the wind, children laughing all around me.
Things I’ve been missing for over a year.
Happy, contented,
No longer drowning, but floating on air!
1
I sit by the window, rain running down the panes, splashing into puddles
Birds wash and preen, play in the rain.
Children romping, stomping in puddles, dancing and playing in the rain.
All I have left are my memories and tears,
I know the platitudes, move on, stop crying, he wouldn’t want you to be so sad.
I’m stuck in this valley of shadows, and death and mourning.
The world continues and I’m stuck in one day.
I have no memory past that day,
Six months later I awake in such pain
How do I live with out you?
There is no praise for God, just questions and anger and fear.
Why must you die, my life is such a lie.
I miss your smile, your voice, your laugh, your hugs, your beautiful brown eyes.
You died!
And I’m left in the saddest place I’ve ever been.
2
Drowning in the water,
Cold and dark,
I feel pain, and grief, and fear all around me.
Light, warmth and hope,
way above me.
Lying, I say, “I’m good”, I’m fine” and
“I’ll be okay.”
I’m left here,
Deep in the sea
Alone!
Later
Much later,
I feel Warmth! And Light! And Hope!
I see colors, blue skies, golden suns, green growing grass,
and hear, the birds, the wind, children laughing all around me.
Things I’ve been missing for over a year.
Happy, contented,
No longer drowning, but floating on air!
TED Talks Some More (about creativity)
If you're not prepared to be wrong, you'll never come up with anything original.
Shakespeare was in someone's elementary school English class... how annoying would that have been? And has anyone ever thought of Shakespeare as a child? Haha... Seven year old Shakespeare
Shakespeare was in someone's elementary school English class... how annoying would that have been? And has anyone ever thought of Shakespeare as a child? Haha... Seven year old Shakespeare
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Biden @ UNH
So Joe Biden and the US Secretary of Education, Arnie Duncan came to speak at UNH last Monday and I'm finally getting a chance to update. Biden is kind of impressive in person.
I had friends that didn't want me to go hear him speak because he is a Democrat and friends that cheered me on when I said I was going to hear him speak because he's a Democrat. To me, it's not about what party he affiliates with. Going to hear Biden speak was about being a citizen. As a citizen of this country, it is my duty to know what my government is doing and saying. It is my duty to know these things so that if I don't agree with them, I can act.
The 2 were at UNH to announce the Dear Colleague Letter based on Sexual Violence and Title IX. I didn't know Title IX was about anything more than equal funding in sports so I actually learned a lot by going. Title IX is actually about sexual discrimination in education programs and activities.
What I learned:
- If a school receives national funding, it is required to have someone on campus that is designated to handle all cases of sexual discrimination.
- Even if a student/parents don't make a complaint about sexual harassment or discrimination, the school still has a duty to act. The school must work to eliminate the cause of the situation.
- 85% of rape victims know their attacker and because they know the person, they think it is not rape.
- What a woman is wearing and past proclivities are not admissible in a court of law.
- Abuse is a learned behavior. Most people in prison for abuse have witnessed someone they love repeatedly abused.
Amongst all those facts, there's a good discussion to be had. It takes gumption to stand up and speak out against abuse. It is a measure of our country, how we respond to sexual violence (think about how we judge countries when we hear they allow stoning of women, the selling of child brides, and genital mutilation).
Twenty, thirty years ago, the battle surrounded privacy. Some people thought that abusing your wife was a private, family matter. Thankfully, that notion has been changed and people know it's a crime. Unfortunately, it's seldom witnessed and in the United States, you're not guilty until proven.
Finally, all these cultural norms exist about who is at fault (ever heard anybody say "You should have known better?" We all make judgment mistakes from time to time!). You are never at fault when you are the victim of abuse!
Biden was obviously passionate about this topic (he talked for almost an hour with no notes!) and he was impressive to listen to. He's a talented public speaker to say the least. He ended by remind the audience that the people this law is about, those are our friends and our classmates. We have to look out for each other.
.
I had friends that didn't want me to go hear him speak because he is a Democrat and friends that cheered me on when I said I was going to hear him speak because he's a Democrat. To me, it's not about what party he affiliates with. Going to hear Biden speak was about being a citizen. As a citizen of this country, it is my duty to know what my government is doing and saying. It is my duty to know these things so that if I don't agree with them, I can act.
The 2 were at UNH to announce the Dear Colleague Letter based on Sexual Violence and Title IX. I didn't know Title IX was about anything more than equal funding in sports so I actually learned a lot by going. Title IX is actually about sexual discrimination in education programs and activities.
What I learned:
- If a school receives national funding, it is required to have someone on campus that is designated to handle all cases of sexual discrimination.
- Even if a student/parents don't make a complaint about sexual harassment or discrimination, the school still has a duty to act. The school must work to eliminate the cause of the situation.
- 85% of rape victims know their attacker and because they know the person, they think it is not rape.
- What a woman is wearing and past proclivities are not admissible in a court of law.
- Abuse is a learned behavior. Most people in prison for abuse have witnessed someone they love repeatedly abused.
Amongst all those facts, there's a good discussion to be had. It takes gumption to stand up and speak out against abuse. It is a measure of our country, how we respond to sexual violence (think about how we judge countries when we hear they allow stoning of women, the selling of child brides, and genital mutilation).
Twenty, thirty years ago, the battle surrounded privacy. Some people thought that abusing your wife was a private, family matter. Thankfully, that notion has been changed and people know it's a crime. Unfortunately, it's seldom witnessed and in the United States, you're not guilty until proven.
Finally, all these cultural norms exist about who is at fault (ever heard anybody say "You should have known better?" We all make judgment mistakes from time to time!). You are never at fault when you are the victim of abuse!
Biden was obviously passionate about this topic (he talked for almost an hour with no notes!) and he was impressive to listen to. He's a talented public speaker to say the least. He ended by remind the audience that the people this law is about, those are our friends and our classmates. We have to look out for each other.
.
Compassion
More TED Talk thoughts:
Compassion is a social responsibility. It isn't about you, it's about helping others less fortunate than yourself.
It's not a chore. In fact, acting with compassion can actually be fun. Try it! You'll see the rewards. It will create happiness and fun!
Compassion brings inner peace; inner peace leads to world peace, slowly but surely.
Compassion creates highly effective leaders who are motivating, understanding, and empathetic.
Imagine the second you meet someone you think I want them to be happy. That's a pretty cool thought.
Compassion is a social responsibility. It isn't about you, it's about helping others less fortunate than yourself.
It's not a chore. In fact, acting with compassion can actually be fun. Try it! You'll see the rewards. It will create happiness and fun!
Compassion brings inner peace; inner peace leads to world peace, slowly but surely.
Compassion creates highly effective leaders who are motivating, understanding, and empathetic.
Imagine the second you meet someone you think I want them to be happy. That's a pretty cool thought.
Monday, March 14, 2011
30 By 30
So this article was written by Glamour contributing writer Pamela Redmond Satran (not Hillary or Maya Angelou or....)
By 30, you should have:
1. One old boyfriend you can imagine going back to and one who reminds you of how far you’ve come. check
2. A decent piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in your family. I less than three my desk and desk chair.
3. Something perfect to wear if the employer or man of your dreams wants to see you in an hour. employer yes; man, maybe
4. A purse, a suitcase and an umbrella you’re not ashamed to be seen carrying. check
5. A youth you’re content to move beyond. check
6. A past juicy enough that you’re looking forward to retelling it in your old age. still working on this one. But I do have some juicy stories.
7. The realization that you are actually going to have an old age—and some money set aside to help fund it. I'm not sure I agree with this one. Life is not promised [RIPBPT]. I do have a (small) retirement fund.
8. An e-mail address, a voice mailbox and a bank account—all of which nobody has access to but you. We struggled with getting access to things when Bry died so my family knows how to access these but doesn't access without my permission.
9. A résumé that is not even the slightest bit padded.check!
10. One friend who always makes you laugh and one who lets you cry. One and the same, thank you Toons!
11. A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill and a black lace bra. I have some of this but I'm not any saying more than that
12. Something ridiculously expensive that you bought for yourself, just because you deserve it. Yup.
13. The belief that you deserve it. CHECK
14. A skin-care regimen, an exercise routine and a plan for dealing with those few other facets of life that don’t get better after 30. I think so.
15. A solid start on a satisfying career, a satisfying relationship and all those other facets of life that do get better. check
By 30, you should know:
1. How to fall in love without losing yourself. I don't think its possible to not lose a little of yourself. I lost a little bit of my heart when I lost my brother. I think its ok to lose a little bit of yourself when you love someone.
2. How you feel about having kids. Duh!
3. How to quit a job, break up with a man and confront a friend without ruining the friendship.check, although they are not things I enjoy doing
4. When to try harder and when to walk away.Is it possible to know this every time you are put in the situation?
5. How to kiss in a way that communicates perfectly what you would and wouldn’t like to happen next. I'd like to think so.
6. The names of: the secretary of state, your great-grandmother and the best tailor in town.2 out of 3 isn't bad
7. How to live alone, even if you don’t like to. LOVE it!
8. How to take control of your own birthday. I think so
9. That you can’t change the length of your calves, the width of your hips or the nature of your parents.check. sidenote: I wouldn't want to change my parents :)
10. That your childhood may not have been perfect, but it’s over. Sad but true. My childhood was actually pretty perfect.
11. What you would and wouldn’t do for money or love. check
12. That nobody gets away with smoking, drinking, doing drugs or not flossing for very long. Bryan was proof of this.
13. Who you can trust, who you can’t and why you shouldn’t take it personally.I'd like to think so
14. Not to apologize for something that isn’t your fault. Still learning this one
15. Why they say life begins at 30. I'm hoping the best is yet to come!
Read More http://www.glamour.com/magazine/2007/02/things-women-should-have-and-know-by-30#ixzz1Gd16XSdZ
By 30, you should have:
1. One old boyfriend you can imagine going back to and one who reminds you of how far you’ve come. check
2. A decent piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in your family. I less than three my desk and desk chair.
3. Something perfect to wear if the employer or man of your dreams wants to see you in an hour. employer yes; man, maybe
4. A purse, a suitcase and an umbrella you’re not ashamed to be seen carrying. check
5. A youth you’re content to move beyond. check
6. A past juicy enough that you’re looking forward to retelling it in your old age. still working on this one. But I do have some juicy stories.
7. The realization that you are actually going to have an old age—and some money set aside to help fund it. I'm not sure I agree with this one. Life is not promised [RIPBPT]. I do have a (small) retirement fund.
8. An e-mail address, a voice mailbox and a bank account—all of which nobody has access to but you. We struggled with getting access to things when Bry died so my family knows how to access these but doesn't access without my permission.
9. A résumé that is not even the slightest bit padded.check!
10. One friend who always makes you laugh and one who lets you cry. One and the same, thank you Toons!
11. A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill and a black lace bra. I have some of this but I'm not any saying more than that
12. Something ridiculously expensive that you bought for yourself, just because you deserve it. Yup.
13. The belief that you deserve it. CHECK
14. A skin-care regimen, an exercise routine and a plan for dealing with those few other facets of life that don’t get better after 30. I think so.
15. A solid start on a satisfying career, a satisfying relationship and all those other facets of life that do get better. check
By 30, you should know:
1. How to fall in love without losing yourself. I don't think its possible to not lose a little of yourself. I lost a little bit of my heart when I lost my brother. I think its ok to lose a little bit of yourself when you love someone.
2. How you feel about having kids. Duh!
3. How to quit a job, break up with a man and confront a friend without ruining the friendship.check, although they are not things I enjoy doing
4. When to try harder and when to walk away.Is it possible to know this every time you are put in the situation?
5. How to kiss in a way that communicates perfectly what you would and wouldn’t like to happen next. I'd like to think so.
6. The names of: the secretary of state, your great-grandmother and the best tailor in town.2 out of 3 isn't bad
7. How to live alone, even if you don’t like to. LOVE it!
8. How to take control of your own birthday. I think so
9. That you can’t change the length of your calves, the width of your hips or the nature of your parents.check. sidenote: I wouldn't want to change my parents :)
10. That your childhood may not have been perfect, but it’s over. Sad but true. My childhood was actually pretty perfect.
11. What you would and wouldn’t do for money or love. check
12. That nobody gets away with smoking, drinking, doing drugs or not flossing for very long. Bryan was proof of this.
13. Who you can trust, who you can’t and why you shouldn’t take it personally.I'd like to think so
14. Not to apologize for something that isn’t your fault. Still learning this one
15. Why they say life begins at 30. I'm hoping the best is yet to come!
Read More http://www.glamour.com/magazine/2007/02/things-women-should-have-and-know-by-30#ixzz1Gd16XSdZ
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Stuff You Should Know
So in addition to the TED Talks podcast I subscribe to, I also listen to the Stuff You Should Know podcast from HowStuffWorks.com.
Between the 2, I'm getting smarter:
1. Gorillas and mice are ticklish. Mice will actually role over and start giggling in anticipation when you wiggle your fingers near them (kind of like how little kids react when they know you're about to start tickling them). But you can't be tickled if you're not in a good mood. There's a surprise element that goes along with this to some extent too. Hence why you can't tickle yourself, its not a surprise.
2. The black death actually started in China. It then spread to Europe. It was originally called the "Big" death bc so many people were dying, but was mistranslated to black. That stuck so its now called the black death. Interestingly enough, bc so many people were sick and dying, the land was being used less so forests grew during the black death epidemic. So basically, to save the planet, we just need to kill off a lot of ppl (Haha!).
3. Your natural sleep cycle would have you sleep from 8 pm - midnight and then again from 2 am - sunrise. That's about 8 full hours. I understand my sister better now.
4. Head aches and migraines are actually complete opposites. When you have a headache, its because the blood vessels are constricting. Migraines arre caused by blood vessels expanding.
More fun facts later.
Today I found out that a friend from undergrad was killed in a car accident. RIP Morgan... We will miss you buddy!
Between the 2, I'm getting smarter:
1. Gorillas and mice are ticklish. Mice will actually role over and start giggling in anticipation when you wiggle your fingers near them (kind of like how little kids react when they know you're about to start tickling them). But you can't be tickled if you're not in a good mood. There's a surprise element that goes along with this to some extent too. Hence why you can't tickle yourself, its not a surprise.
2. The black death actually started in China. It then spread to Europe. It was originally called the "Big" death bc so many people were dying, but was mistranslated to black. That stuck so its now called the black death. Interestingly enough, bc so many people were sick and dying, the land was being used less so forests grew during the black death epidemic. So basically, to save the planet, we just need to kill off a lot of ppl (Haha!).
3. Your natural sleep cycle would have you sleep from 8 pm - midnight and then again from 2 am - sunrise. That's about 8 full hours. I understand my sister better now.
4. Head aches and migraines are actually complete opposites. When you have a headache, its because the blood vessels are constricting. Migraines arre caused by blood vessels expanding.
More fun facts later.
Today I found out that a friend from undergrad was killed in a car accident. RIP Morgan... We will miss you buddy!
Friday, March 11, 2011
TED Talks
I've subscribed to the TED Talks podcast and learned a TON of cool things lately:
1. Cancer isn't a thing it is a process happening in a body. We should be saying the body is "cancering" instead of saying someone has cancer. We're also more likely to find a cure for cancer if we stop researching from the human genome perspective and start researching from the protemics perspective (looking at the processes in the body).
2. In light of all the damage we've done to our planet, we should be working on creating closed loop systems: everything in the system should be used (i.e. NO waste at all) for another purpose.
3. Nature has some pretty cool building blocks that we can copy in our architecture to make buildings more sustainable, less expensive, and more eco-friendly.
4. The three A's of Awesome (the blog about 1001 awesome things): Attitude, authenticity, and awareness. It's ok to grieve when you hit bumps along the road, but then pick yourself up again. Choose your attitude, choose to move on so you can go back to the highs of life. Be authentic. You'll have more fun! Awareness is about taking everything in and learning as much as you can... just like a 3 year old.
5. Madeline Albright's pin collection started because she was poking fun at Saddam Hussein. This woman has guts and a sense of humor!
1. Cancer isn't a thing it is a process happening in a body. We should be saying the body is "cancering" instead of saying someone has cancer. We're also more likely to find a cure for cancer if we stop researching from the human genome perspective and start researching from the protemics perspective (looking at the processes in the body).
2. In light of all the damage we've done to our planet, we should be working on creating closed loop systems: everything in the system should be used (i.e. NO waste at all) for another purpose.
3. Nature has some pretty cool building blocks that we can copy in our architecture to make buildings more sustainable, less expensive, and more eco-friendly.
4. The three A's of Awesome (the blog about 1001 awesome things): Attitude, authenticity, and awareness. It's ok to grieve when you hit bumps along the road, but then pick yourself up again. Choose your attitude, choose to move on so you can go back to the highs of life. Be authentic. You'll have more fun! Awareness is about taking everything in and learning as much as you can... just like a 3 year old.
5. Madeline Albright's pin collection started because she was poking fun at Saddam Hussein. This woman has guts and a sense of humor!
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