The Best Christmas Parade We Had Never Seen

This weekend, Megan and I decided to do the Magnificent Mile Festival of Lights and Parade. We felt like it was a Chicago Experience we had to do at least once. Her parents and GF joined us and we had a BLAST! After the weekend ended, Megan's dad wrote this poem to commemorate our experience:

 

The Greatest Christmas Parade We Have Never Seen

In mid November in that town they call Chicago

There's a famous Christmas parade that thousands go to you know.

So Kathy and I packed up the Taurus.

And headed North to see Megan and company of course.

We used Siri on the I Phone as our directional goddess.

And wouldn't you know we got to Megan's crib in record time and not in Skokie and hopelessly lost.

It was good to see her and to meet Betsy from Kenosha, Wisconson

Max was stylin in his dogie hooded sweatshirt that was well done.

We made our plans to get downtown for the parade and the fireworks.

Living in Chicago, although windy, can still have it's perks.

So we all got together on November 17, 2012 in the year of our Lord.

Went to the red line station and on the "L" train we did board.

We all had our gloves and our hats and our mittens.

Hoping that we wouldn't with cold be smitten.

Got downtown after a few stops and our Christmas parade adventure was about to begin.

Megan got on the phone and got hold of her co-worker Kathryn.

Now it sure was a treat for me to be in the company of these four fine looking ladies.

We chose to walk to the parade instead of taking the Mercedes. (don't have one but it rhymes)

Everyone was feeling a little hungry so we hooked up some burgers and dogs and Mister J's.

When it was time to get a drink refill for 75 cents I said no f#@^ing way !

We followed it up with a Starbuck's stop and some warm delicious liquid treats.

I had to wait on the ladies awhile because there was a long line for the bathroom and only one seat.

What a great night out is was, quite warm for this time of the year.

The sun was setting in the west and the skies were clear.

We got down to Michigan Avenue and the crowd was beginning to form as a throng.

The further south we went it was clear that something was wrong.

All of the good spots were taken and the parade route was at least 5-10 people deep.

Kathy said "We should have got a hotel room" but I replied "It wouldn't have been cheap"

So we moved down the avenue like fish going up a crowded stream, people as far as could be seen.

Except we weren't salmon, more like sardines.

It took quite a while to go just a few blocks moving amongst the common folk and high rollers.

Trying to get to a good spot and not get run over by baby strollers.

Our goal was to get as far South on the Miracle Mile as we could to see the parade and the pyrotechnics.

But it soon became clear weren't gonna make it and we considered bailing out for drinks.

But we pressed on taking small steps as we moved as one with the crowd.

I bet the people in the front row on both sides of the street felt pretty proud.

Finally we just came to a stop, there was no possible way to advance or further go.

We chose to stand our ground at the intersection of Michigan and Ohio.

We huddled together as a group, vowing not to get separated or pushed out of our position.

But with a thousand parade wanna be viewers it was a difficult proposition.

The parade was coming we hoped because the sky had turned from blue to red to black.

Kathryn and Kathy held down the front, me in the middle, and Megan and Betsy had our back.

We stood our ground as we were pushed, shoved and generally moved around the sidewalk.

It was pretty clear we weren't going to see the parade so we might as well talk.

And then off in the distance we saw some spotlights and we knew we were soon going to have good parade viewing luck.

Then along came the Illuminating devices in a "light duty" truck.

( I was proud of that pun)

We looked across the street at the people in their apartments and rooms looking down on the parade with a heck of a view.

Because we were surrounded by many we weren't sure what we could do.

The little kids had the best look at the action from the tops of their Mom's and Dad's shoulders.

We might have seen better if we had some ladders or at least some big boulders.

The people around were generally funny and nice and not a bunch of jerks.

Except for that one bitch woman who said "get out of my way, I am late for work"

Now what kind of dumbass would choose that time to fight the crowd which wanted to linger ?

We will never know, the bitch just went on and shot Betsy the finger.

And now the parade was in full swing as displays and marching bands came along.

Although, however, we were 0-5 on them playing us a song.

Still, their drum cadence sounded pretty good and was kinda all of that.

The bad thing is were were so far back we could only see the top of their hats.

The first hot air balloon came by, it was Rudolph and we could clearly see him as he came by our spot and passed.

We all had a laugh as we saw the duct tape on his helium filled ass.

There were lots of Disney characters from Minnie to Micky to Goofy.

Although from our vantage point far away he kinda looked like Snoopy.

We continued by the crowd to be pushed, and shoved and probed like a proctologist.

When what we really needed was to have better vision and a visit from our oncologist.

Most of the people had manners, said "excuse me" or "sorry" they weren't to rude.

Although there was that one guy in front of Kathryn, that 6 foot four dude.

What else could we do there was no moving around.

Couldn't see the damn thing, most of it we experienced by sound.

I think we were there for quite a while, it was definitely over an hour.

Experiencing the parade on the Miracle Mile in front of Eddie Baurer's.

And then finally Santa came by, the traditional end of the parade and the end of our non viewing experience.

Pulled by a sleigh of twelve reindeer as down the avenue they went.

Now Katherine challenged my Santa reindeer knowledge, I said twelve and she said eight in a holler.

I felt confident in my memory and I bet her a dollar.

Then they shot off the fireworks and there were a bunch of them, quite loud.

We couldn't see them but we were impressed by the sound.

As the crowd dispersed we continued to hold our ground.

Hoping for at least one more unit or a band to come by but none was to be found.

So we headed west in search of a bar to get a drink, a beer, a stop for a pop.

Decided to hang out at the bar at the Rock Bottom Cafe's rooftop.

Ordered a round and we staked out a great spot away from the human rat race.

Put our feet up, started sipping and enjoying the fake fireplace.

We felt like we were on the top of the world, we had each other and our heart's desire.

Drinking with each other, telling stories, and being warmed by the fire.

We were kinda hungry after our walk and the parade so a couple of huge soft pretzels sounded pretty great.

But were were told the kitchen was behind and the roof top food closed at eight.

So we got back on the red line train and we began our journey north to home this time in Chicagoland.

The train was crowded, Kathy got a seat but the rest of us had to stand.

It took a while to get to our station because we had a lot of stops of course.

Eventually the crowd thinned out when we got to our station called Morse.

Having been shut out on pretzels we were ready for some dinner.

Based on prior experience Mama Leone's was the winner.

Awesome food, great atmosphere our waitress was amazing, our experience was the best of our choosing

I asked the waitress, Mary, to help settle my reindeer bet without losing.

Alas, she had to verify that there were eight and not a dozen, I was out of luck.

I manned up and paid Kathryn her buck.

As we said our goodbyes at the end of the night.

Although things didn't go according to plan we still got it right.

A special evening for the memory banks if you know what I mean.

It was The Best Christmas Parade We Had Never Seen !

a poem by

Steve Morris